Archive for the ‘dirty politics’ Category

DUNDERBRAIN PSA#1: THANK YOU SARAH PALIN

November 25, 2008

This is my response to the “Thank you Sarah Palin” psa.  Thank you to Bitch + The Exciting Conclusion for “red roof inn” playing in the background.

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And again it rears it's ugly head… Palin speaks.

November 13, 2008

redpalinDon’t let the munchkins start singing yet – Palin has yet to be silenced.  You would think after the trainwreck that was her and her running mate’s campaign she would learn to keep her mouth shut but here she is again, growing scarier.

At a meeting with the Republican Governers Association she stated that they should not become the negative party, yet took a few cheap jabs at Obama during the course of her speech.  She also mentioned that she met a few VIP’s who impact society like TINA FEY…  when you know inside she’s really saying “that bitch.  She stole my election.”

It makes me wonder exactly how much of the country’s vote was swayed by Tina Fey’s portrayal of Sarah Palin.  I think it was just easier to picture Tina Fey when Palin would speak because her voice just HURT to listen to so your brain just interprets it as comedy.  Personally it was hard for me NOT to picture Tina Fey when Palin spoke.

It looks like this will definitely not be the last we hear from Ms P.  The republicans seem to really love her and even though she couldn’t lead a trail of ants to honey they are beginning to look at her like a new leader.  WHY???  Why is the repbublican party so fascinated and disillusioned by her?  Is having nice tits and a concrete fundamental religious base REALLY what we need leading the most powerful nation in the world?  I really think she needs to go back to the job she’s good at, being a mom in the meth capital of Alaska.  I’m not saying that women shouldn’t be in politics, just not THAT woman.

I would like to believe that our country is more intelligent than that but for the most part it isn’t.  If we look at a map of the 2008 electoral votes by state we see that there is this huge chunk of the country right through the middle that feels like Palin would be a good leader.  I don’t believe for a second that those people really voted for McCain, any vote for McCain was for Palin’s tits.

The GOP is just starting in with their pity party about how they have lost almost all power.  It must be hard to sit back on the Titanic and  down while every other passenger in their right mind has jumped ship.  She says that she realizes their party is now the minority, but we all know that minorities are not a favorite of the GOP, so where does that leave them?

I don’t think we’ve heard the end out of Tina Fey either, although she’s stated she would never do another Palin impression but I have a feeling the Alaska Governor will be dropping quite a few more “pearls of wisdom” that Ms Fey will have a hard time keeping her paws off of.  I can just smell an episode of 30 Rock where the Palin SNL fiasco is paralleled.

Rise Above to Defeat Prop 8

November 7, 2008

prop8As we ride out the wave of this recent political upheaval and await the next we’re faced with a storm of issues that many consider minor.  As we welcome in a new commander in chief we’re all faced with a number of “prayers” so to speak of; wishes we want granted and rights we want acknowledged.

Since time began there has always been a social underdog, we just happen to be at a point in history where being gay means that we are the ones that must now overcome adversity.  To many overcoming adversity means gaining acceptance from a world which has rejected them.  Why though must our lives, the one thing we control be controlled by someone else?

I think the gay community should move away from acceptance.  Marriage, in itself, is the ultimate symbol of society’s recognition.  I don’t think that marriage alone is what anyone is fighting for; it’s kind of like the Holy Grail of Gay, the last thing we have left to fight over.  I may be confused but I think we’ve gotten pretty much everything we wanted as far as gay rights go except marriage.  We can vote.  We can dress like the opposite gender, something we couldn’t do less than half a century ago.  We can even kiss in public and not break any laws.  Am I missing any?  Is there something I’m not aloud to do because of my sexuality?

As far as I can tell I live my day to day without any real bull.  When I ride the bus I sit in the back because I want to, but usually I take the train because the bus smells like pee.  I don’t pull up to McDonalds and get rejected because I’m a flaming fairy.  And if I do I call the manager or hell my lawyer even and have the little punk fired before I slap a huge discrimination lawsuit on their ass.  How is that in anyway not having gay rights?

There are many places in the US of A that aren’t this way,  so if that is true for you, AND YOU KNOW THIS, why the hell are you still living there?  Homo is where the heart is not where the homophobes live, anyone can move if they put their minds to it.  It makes my eyebrows go up when I think of all the people that let things like homophobia get to them when there’s no way you can control it.  There’s no way to control the thoughts and minds of other people, so if we want to be treated with that respect we should give others the same respect.  Instead of lashing out at someone who hates you send them love and let that hate fester in on its self until it eats them alive.

We need to pick our battles.  There are more important things in this world to worry about than acceptance from people that have no real standing in our *real* lives.  If we want to get married, book a preacher and a hall.  Get married.  Steps can be taken to go above their heads and form our own unions by doing things like only working for companies that provide benefits for same sex couples and giving your partner your Power of Attorney.  You’ll basically have everything except a marriage certificate and those just take up room on the wall.

You may consider marriage a cultural staple that you must strive for but consider that homosexuality in itself is the progression from a traditional culture so maybe a homosexual union should be another progression outside of traditional marriage.  If they won’t give us what they believe isn’t ours why not just make up our own?  Nobody holds the copyright to marriage and nobody has sole legal right to the title being married.

You may say “but I shouldn’t have to work that hard to have equal rights” but I say bull.  In my view we were all put here for a reason and if you sincerely believe that homosexuality isn’t a choice and you were made the way you are then I believe you were made that way for a reason.  This is a revolution we are in right now, and even though it’s scoffed at by some it’s a strong and powerful war to all of us.  For the first time in a half a century though this isn’t a revolution against the law this a revolution against a long outdated paradigm that hangs over this country like a tattered old beehive wig suffocating the population.  We don’t live in The Land of the Free we live in the land of Lets Screw Over the System so get with the times and figure out how to make the system work for you instead of against you.  Let your voice be heard by going over their heads, do what the hell you want to do and don’t ever let a law tell you no.  We’re born with free will and the knowledge or right and wrong, we need to use it.

I’m in no way against gay marriage but at the same time we shouldn’t be so disheartened – or distracted – by it.  We can’t let one tiny law engulf all of our attention when there’s an entire world out there getting screwed over.  Although we should never silence our voices we need to accept, for now, that we’re going to have to find other avenues of domestic partnership.  We need to take a minute every day and realize our roles in the world as a form of minority instead of ignoring it and be thankful for the distance we’ve come and the rights we have and find ways to help other people getting crapped on to get theirs.  Activism is like having super powers, we have to use them for the benefit of others but we can’t waste all of our Life Energy fighting Magneto.  He’s got a ton of underlings waiting for a POW!  And a CRUNCH! Too that desperately needs our attention.

MAD LIBS with Sen. Kern!

March 14, 2008

This week a group calling themselves the “Victory Fund” released a video which includes audio of Oklahoma Representative Sally Kern delivering the most vulgar display of hate outside of a white pointy hood. Apparently the “woman” thought only 50 people were listening, but since the video was released nearly 900,000 have added their names to an open letter letting her know that “they’re listening”.

 

Well, BITCH, I was listening too. I’m not going to waste my time telling you how much I can’t stand this woman. I’d rather not waste the energy. Instead, here’s a fun way of turning a hate speech into something positive. MAD LIBS!!!! What you see here is a transcript of the Battle Axe’s speech with all the negatives pulled out for you to insert positives.

 

Check out the video HERE.

 

Don’t give this woman power by taking her seriously!! Make fun of her!!! HUMILIATE HER! Kick sand in her face!!!! Please let her know you were listening too by filling in your answers and posting them in my comments!!!! OKAY so some of my grammar may be a bit off in this thing but fill it out to your own liking! Change everything if you want, just turn it into a joke so this woman can stop getting applause everywhere she goes.

 

The homosexual agenda is __verb___ this nation, okay? It’s just a fact. Not everybody’s lifestyle is equal, just like not all __ plural noun___ are. You know, the very fact that I’m talking to you like this here today puts me in jeopardy, okay? And I’m not anti- and I’m not gay _verb__, but according to God’s Word, that is ___adjective___. It has __adjective__ consequences for those people involved in it. They have more __verb__, they’re more __verb_, there’s more ___noun___, their ___noun___ are shorter, you know, it’s not a lifestyle that is good for this nation.

As a matter of fact, studies show that no society that has totally embraced homosexuality has __verb__ more than, you know, a few decades. So it’s the ___noun__ for this country. I honestly think it’s the biggest _verb__ our nation has, even more so than _noun___ or ___noun___, which I think is a big threat.

Because what’s happening now, they’re going after, in schools, __farm animal or something equally ridiculous__! Do you know what they’re trying to get into early __noun_ education? They want to give our __noun__ into the government schools so they can __verb__ them. I taught __noun__ for close to twenty years. And we’re not teaching __noun__ and __noun___ anymore folks. We’re teaching __dirty noun__, okay? And their going after our young children, as young as two years of age to try to teach them that the __noun___ is an acceptable __noun__.

You know, gays are __noun__. Did you know, Eureka Springs, anybody been there, the passion play? Okay, have you heard that the city council of Eureka Springs is now __adjective__? Okay? There are some others, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania; Takoma, Maryland; Kennsington, Maryland; in Vermont, Oregon, West Palm Beach, Florida; in a lot of other places in Florida. What’s happening? They are __noun__.

One of the things I deal with in __noun__, I tried to introduce a bill last year that would __verb__ parents, schools had to let parents know what __noun__ their students were involved in. And the reason I did that bill primarily was this: __dub ass reason for writing a bill__. Kids are getting involved in these __noun__, their lives are being __verb__, their parents don’t know about it. So I introduced a bill, you have to __verb__ all clubs and things.

And one of my colleagues said you know, we don’t have a __noun__ problem in my county, that’s why I voted against that bill. Well you know what? To me that is so __verb__. If you got __noun__ or something in your __body part__, do you say, you know, I’m just going to forget about it because __reason__. It __verb__, okay? And this stuff, it’s __adjective__ and it’s spreading and it will __verb__ our young people, it will __verb__ this nation.

Barack.

March 3, 2008

As some of you know I had a highly fundamental Christian upbringing. My mom would tote me around from new church to new church so I got a pretty wide grasp on the subject before deciding for myself that it’s all a bunch of bollocks. Anyway, the one aspect of Christianity that I was fascinated with was the end times… the Book of Revelations…

 

The End.

 

It just sounds all heeby jeeby just saying it, Book of Revelations…

 

As many more of you know I am absolutely OBSESSED with the end of the world. Apocalypse. I get a half-chub just thinking about the world – or at least society as we know it – coming to an indeterminate end. The show “Life After People” which recently aired on the Discovery Channel was like porn to me.It isn’t that I hate people, it’s just something in my gut that keeps kicking me. It says something big is about to happen, something REALLY big. I have dreams about it even. I’ve noticed a lot of other people are waiting for it too, they make movies about earthshaking catastrophes and they sell like little boys in Thailand.It’s like the end of a movie, the scenes start to change, the climax is approaching, the speed of the movie intensifies – and you know it’s only another 15 minutes or so until the credits roll. I think this is what the world is feeling now, we’re all filled with antici—

-pation.

This is why we NEED to elect Barack Obama to be the president of the United States.

He is the Antichrist.

I tried to research the subject and give specific reasons as to why Mr Obama is the harbinger of the end-times but I found that someone else has already done it. Along with Revelations many other famous prophets have agreed that the final leader will descend from the middle east and basically come out of NOWHERE – and then it clicked.

It just seems so odd that for the longest time our country has been run by old white men then suddenly – GASP – a WOMAN and a BLACK MUSLIM?? WTF??? I mean, blindsided. Totally.

 

Here is the list of reasons some dickweed on the net prepared as to why, biblically Obama would fit the role:

 

1.- He will come as a man of Peace (Obama promises peace in Iraq, defeat for the US)

2.- He will come mounted on a white Female horse(Obama mother is white who had 6 African husbands)

3.- He will come to deceive( Obama says he’s a Christian but in fact he was born a Muslim, practices the Islamic religion, prays Friday’s facing Mecca)

4.- He will make himself the most powerful man on earth, if elected

5.- He will try to destroy the Jewish People and Israel( Obama has said he loves the Arabs specially the Palestinians, hates Israel and Jews. Admires Hitler, Osama etc)

6.- He will present himself as good and righteous but in fact he’s Satan himself. Violence is in his heart

7.- Obama will help Al Qaida in its evil projects.

8.- Barack Hussein Obama is the “King of the South” predicted in the Bible.(Daniel .11, Kenya is south of Jerusalem)

9.- Obama comes to implant muslim Sharia Law upon America.

Now the piece was written by some uncitable person as slander but it got me pumped. I have never wanted someone to be our president so bad in my entire life. Apparently he doesn’t cross his heart during the pledge of allegence, he doesn’t stand for the national anthem. I mean seriously, the dude needs to have ANTI-CHRIST tattooed across his forhead.

Not to mention people are getting super defensive of him. American Airlines center in Dallas was PACKED when he was here, the same venue that sells out people like U2 and Foo Fighters. People love him. They say “Hillary what? John McWho?”. Obama WILL be our next president. This is the last full 4-year term before December 21 2012 which marks the end of the Mayan Calendar – and the world as well, many say. I just find it funny that the end of the world is like 6 weeks after the 2012 election.

BRING IT ON! I say.

I’ll be ready with my canned food and bottled water.