Archive for June, 2009

What is really going on…

June 14, 2009

A few of you have asked why, exactly I am here in New York for the next two months. What is my role here? What do I do?

First let me tell you about Patsy. Patsy has known my “host family” (the two guys I’m staying with here) basically since time began. I’ve only known them for about 7 or so, and since she used to live with them I met her around the same time.

She’s been comming here for years as their tag along and just this year took over cleaning duties for the entire commune. I offered my services to help out in exchange for room and board and allowing me to keep my full earnings for the massages I give the students and staff.

Patsy is addicted to niccotine gum and has been since she quit smoking several years ago. Last year she awoke one morning and didn’t have her “good morning” piece of gum so she made a desperate run to town to buy some. Halfway down the hill she decided that she was going to abstain – if she made a right instead of hooking a left into town she’d get over the craving so she turned right.

Three minutes later she realized she had forgotten to take her morning poo, and more importantly was a desperate situation. She immediately pulled over at a conveniently located cozy little bed and breakfast off the side of the road and ran to the door.

It was locked.

Left with no alternative she ran back to her car, grabbed a roll of toilet paper from the back of her car (since she was the janitor she had several back there) and headed for the shack behind the B&B. She dropped trow and squatted against the wall.

“Well that’s not very nice, is it?” came a voice in front of her as she was pulling up her pants.

She went white as a dead drag queen on Christmas.

“Lady,” she replied, straightening her clothing, “do you think I would have done that if it was anything less than an emergency?”

The woman quickly threw her hands on her hips and says, “well you sure do seem to come prepared!” and pointed at the roll of toilet tissues in her hand.

Needless to say she’s never returned to that B&B again. So this year my job Is to follow Patsy around with a pooper scooper. More updates coming soon.

— Post From My iPhone

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Things get strange…

June 6, 2009

It’s still a week before the first camp arrives and two weeks before the main group gets here and it’s pretty strange being the only one on the site at night.

People haven’t been here, like, at ALL in 9 months so the wilderness is still wild. I was just outside looking at all the amazing stars here and I began to hear movement in front I me. I figured it was a rat or squirrel.

Then I heard that strange ultrasonic chirp of bats which once I thought about it wasn’t so bad, I use Biolage and fruity body wash and hair products so they eat the bugs that bug me.

Then larger movement from behind me. This started Making me nervous because I realized I was now a stranger on their turf instead of when i’m usually here and 50 or so people have been trodding around the area for a couple months. I was like white tourist in central America during the off-season.

So I came inside and decided the stars could wait until some more humans came around to help me establish our species domination of the area. We’ll give it back in a few months or so.

— Post From My iPod Touch

Only in dreams…

June 4, 2009

I just arrived at my “summer haven” in the mountains of upstate new York and my only blogging tool is mix ipod touch. It was a long 27 hour drive but we made it!

It’s beautiful here… And I’m having a bit of an Erie moment. I’ve written before about my reoccuring dream sequences, how for long periods of time I’ll basically live one life in the waking world and a completely seperate, sequential life in my dreams.

The place has always felt familiar to me. Tonight , since we were the first ones here I gave myself a personal, private tour of the entire grounds. I explored areas that I had never ventured before and I realized this IS my dream world!

It was like concious déjà vu. I still don’t completely know what to think of it but it was pretty cool.

Definitely more updates soon!

— Post From My iPod Touch

June 4, 2009

It’s 7:27 am and I just accidentally watched a full episode of Degrassi. It comes on CW every morning and every night I fall asleep watching late night sitcoms on the same channel so if m up before Roseanne comes on.

I’m always sucked in by the stupid teenage Canadian drama and cheap humor. I guess I’m just brain dead enough in the morning to appreciate it.

I’m still getting used to blogging with a keyboard literally the size of my thumb. I mean sure it’s a huge thumb but a thumb no less. I actually sat down with a “pen” and “note-book” made of paper and tried to write a story but the analog-nes of it made me vomit all over the paper and it was ruined.

I miss my laptop. I miss writing with my entire hand, all five fingers instead of being all thumbs. To top it off I’m leaving for upstate New York in five days and only a thumb-sized keyboard and no camera to doccument it with. Donations??? LOL

I’m excited about stepping back into 1927 though. Well, 1927 with wifi. I’ll be trading tv for Internet buy to me that’s a pretty fair trade.